Canada Bracing for Massive Influx of Wisconsin Boat People
Coast Guard on Alert
OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.
Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a “substantial flotilla” in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.
“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,” Mr. McGlindon said. “You can’t blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them.”
In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called “anchor babies” on Canadian soil.
Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior’s northern shore.
“We are telling all of our men that under no circumstances should they accept offerings of cheese,” he said. "These boat people are desperate and they will try anything."
Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.
Speaking at the state capitol, Gov. Walker seemed philosophical about his legacy: "I'm not worried how history will remember me, because if I have my way there won't be any history teachers.”
Many of our clerks have undoubtedly met Aaron Storbeck, who travels to conventions and sets up wares to show county clerks how easy these machines are to use. In a follow-up email interview Storbeck denied his machines could be corrupted:
BW: So as far as you know, you don’t know how anyone could create corruptible programming that would not show up until Election Day.
CC: Hasn’t happened and we have 46 counties as customers in Wisconsin and 3,000 pieces of equipment out there.
I asked if these machines force a straight party ticket. But unless a voter knows how to back out and re-enter the choices to force a split ticket as he explains below, how would they know?:
BW: Voters have to vote straight ticket. There is a way to overwrite having to vote straight ticket by selecting the first choice, then unselecting it, and then selecting the second choice. Even if voting Republican and the second choice is a Democrat, it will register a split ticket.
CC: Yes It check-marks the office in a straight party, however you can go in and deselect names if you wanted to change your vote(s).
But perhaps the most disturbing answer Storbeck gave was to the question of who programs the computer pacs that tabulate the votes.
CC: My step-mother is Sue Wahl and she does the programming.
Command Central's offices are located in this strip mall west of St. Cloud, MN. Michelle Bachman's campaign office is across the hall.
It might be just an inconvenient truth for you that today's GOP is openly practicing racism, committing hate crimes and calling for the death of Senator Obama, using the "N" word; just as the Nazis used the Jews for scapegoats during Goebbels' time. If that kind of human behavior is OK in your book, well that's just not OK with me. It crosses the line from dirty politics to terrorism, and that is not acceptable in any election!
No matter who is doing it, be it some so-called "Grand Wizard" of the KKK, Joseph Goebbels, Karl Rove or Rove's successor(s), campaigns of hatred and murder are just plain wrong. I will stand up and say that, as long as I have the breath to utter the words. I may have to suffer people such as yourself, who want to cover it all up. But at least my conscience is clear. I will not fear Judgment Day.
Oh, c'mon. I'm willing to chalk up about any level of cynicism and dishonesty to the GOP—but what you're talking about here is assholes in an excited crowd, not "today's GOP."
So are we rounding up Democrats and gassing them now?
Please get real with your metaphors here!
Please look at the news.
Several people in Villa Park, IL have received death threats over their support for Obama. And there have been numerous cases of lynch mob cries of "kill him", the "N" word and other threats towards Barack Obama, after McCain and/or Palin works the crowd into a frenzy.
This is real. It is being widely reported as news, as well as YouTube. What is going on is far worse than the worst that Joseph McCarthy ever did. The level of hatred and racism is beyond anything that has taken place since WWII.
This is serious! You can deny it all you like, but that just makes you part of the problem.
It might be just an inconvenient truth for you that today's GOP is openly practicing racism, committing hate crimes and calling for the death of Senator Obama, using the "N" word; just as the Nazis used the Jews for scapegoats during Goebbels' time. If that kind of human behavior is OK in your book, well that's just not OK with me. It crosses the line from dirty politics to terrorism, and that is not acceptable in any election......
What? WHAT? WHAT?
So are we rounding up Democrats and gassing them now?
Invoking Little Joe won't make you any friends here. We have enough problems without calling the Neo-Cons Nazis.
Go to the back of the class... put on the cap.
It might be just an inconvenient truth for you that today's GOP is openly practicing racism, committing hate crimes and calling for the death of Senator Obama, using the "N" word; just as the Nazis used the Jews for scapegoats during Goebbels' time. If that kind of human behavior is OK in your book, well that's just not OK with me. It crosses the line from dirty politics to terrorism, and that is not acceptable in any election!
No matter who is doing it, be it some so-called "Grand Wizard" of the KKK, Joseph Goebbels, Karl Rove or Rove's successor(s), campaigns of hatred and murder are just plain wrong. I will stand up and say that, as long as I have the breath to utter the words. I may have to suffer people such as yourself, who want to cover it all up. But at least my conscience is clear. I will not fear Judgment Day.
I think that the truth regarding ACORN has come out enough. IMHO the real story is the "real" story is the people behind this smear campaign. So...what political party do we know of that is pugnacious, heavily into propaganda, and has no scruples about lying? Who, oh who could it be...?
Don't blame me for this one, I'm dead!
Invoking Little Joe won't make you any friends here. We have enough problems without calling the Neo-Cons Nazis.
(Reuters) Grand Rapids, Oct.15, 2008 — A Grand Rapids pizza restaurant recently hired some folks at minimum wage to distribute pizza menus by placing the menus on car windows in the downtown area. Instead of placing each flyer on a car, they simply dumped several thousand of them in a dumpster - but collected their pay at the end of the day. The fraud came to light when an employee of the pizza establishment which hired the men didn't see any flyers on cars in the area. He checked local trash receptacles and eventually found most of the missing flyers. Pizza fraud of this scale has never been seen before and it was said to "threaten the very foundation of the restaurant industry", said an unidentified FBI spokesperson.
I think that the truth regarding ACORN has come out enough. IMHO the real story is the "real" story is the people behind this smear campaign. So...what political party do we know of that is pugnacious, heavily into propaganda, and has no scruples about lying? Who, oh who could it be...?
Here's a draft of an upcoming newspaper ad: Fraud. You've heard a lot about ACORN in the media lately, accused of voter fraud. But it's news fraud — a false story instigated by right-wing operatives.
The wild charges made against ACORN aren't true. Period. It's the story the right wing wants you to hear, and the media is reporting as unchallenged fact.
ACORN hired 13,000 workers to register voters. And unfortunately a few bad apples turned in registration forms with inaccurate and even made-up names.
Here's what's missing from the story: In most states, ACORN is required to submit all forms they collect, whether they appear to be bogus or not. That way election officials, not independent groups, can decide who gets registered and who doesn't. ACORN spends millions to flag cards that may not be legitimate. And many of the irregularities you've heard about only came to light because ACORN itself flagged the cards!
Meanwhile, ACORN has successfully registered over one million legitimate voters — Democrats, Independents and Republicans. And there are no reported instances of organized double-voting — so there's no chance this will affect the election.
So what's the real story?
The right wing wants to discourage low-income people and African Americans from voting. And attacking ACORN helps justify their real efforts to suppress the vote — which are well under way.
In Indiana, the right is considering using home foreclosure as a reason to prevent legitimate registration.
In Philadelphia, an anonymous flier targeting African-American neighborhoods falsely warns that voters with outstanding traffic tickets may be arrested if they go to the polls.
In Colorado, the Republican Secretary of State rejected more than 6,000 citizens' registration cards because of minor errors like not marking a checkbox.
Last week, the Fox network referenced ACORN 770 times on the air. That's to be expected — but then CNN and others parroted the same right-wing talking points.
Instead of hearing about the hundreds of thousands of American citizens who will be prevented from casting a vote this year, you heard about fictional people who will never cast a vote.
