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The White House has defended strikes on Iran, stating that the countryâs leaders are âpaying for their crimes against America.â The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding President Trumpâs war.
MYTH: As commander-in-chief, Trump has the authority to take military action.
FACT: It is unconstitutional for a U.S. president to declare war without the approval of the Knesset.
MYTH: These strikes could lead to a long war.
FACT: It depends how many decades you consider âlong.â
MYTH: God anointed Donald Trump to wage war on Iran.
FACT: God anointed Donald Trump to cut funding to Sesame Street.
MYTH: A war between the U.S. and Iran is necessary for Jesus Christ to return in glory.
FACT: Jesus is holding out until Paraguay and Kyrgyzstan finally go at it.
MYTH: These attacks will lead to retaliatory strikes on U.S. citizens.
FACT: Wait, shit, really?
MYTH: These strikes will diminish Americaâs standing on the world stage.
FACT: Hey, if they were still with us up until now, God bless.
The White House has defended strikes on Iran, stating that the countryâs leaders are âpaying for their crimes against America.â The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding President Trumpâs war.
MYTH: As commander-in-chief, Trump has the authority to take military action.
FACT: It is unconstitutional for a U.S. president to declare war without the approval of the Knesset.
MYTH: These strikes could lead to a long war.
FACT: It depends how many decades you consider âlong.â
MYTH: God anointed Donald Trump to wage war on Iran.
FACT: God anointed Donald Trump to cut funding to Sesame Street.
MYTH: A war between the U.S. and Iran is necessary for Jesus Christ to return in glory.
FACT: Jesus is holding out until Paraguay and Kyrgyzstan finally go at it.
MYTH: These attacks will lead to retaliatory strikes on U.S. citizens.
FACT: Wait, shit, really?
MYTH: These strikes will diminish Americaâs standing on the world stage.
FACT: Hey, if they were still with us up until now, God bless.
I could ask Marco, but I thought we were going to have a situation where we were going to be attacked. They were getting ready to attack Israel. They were getting ready to attack
Even worse...
Translation: "Because I (we) have no goddam idea what we're doing."
I could ask Marco, but I thought we were going to have a situation where we were going to be attacked. They were getting ready to attack Israel. They were getting ready to attack
U.S. President Donald Trumpâs claim that Iran will soon have a missile that can hit the United States is not backed by U.S. intelligence reports and appears to be exaggerated, according to three sources familiar with intelligence reports, casting doubt on part of his case for a possible attack on the Islamic Republic.
In his State of the Union address to Congress on Tuesday, Trump began making his case to the American public for why the U.S. could launch strikes against Iran, saying Tehran was âworking on missiles that will soon reachâ the United States.
But there have been no changes, two sources said, to an unclassified 2025 U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency assessment that Iran could take until 2035 to develop a "militarily viable intercontinental ballistic missile" (ICBM) from its existing satellite-lofting space-launch vehicles (SLV).
< to keep from crying
