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Matthew Sweet — Thought I Knew You
Album: Girlfriend
Avg rating:
7.1

Your rating:
Total ratings: 1212









Released: 1991
Length: 2:56
Plays (last 30 days): 2
I thought I knew you
I was in for a surprise
I let my love flow
From my heart into your eyes
And then I found out
That there was nothing I could know
Guess about you
You'd go as far as you could go

And it took me years to figure out
That there was nothing I could give to you
Years to figure out that there was nothing you would take from me
And how can I describe the way you slowly put my hope away
And all of the time
I thought I knew you

I thought I knew you
But I wasn't even close
I had my heart set
On little more than a ghost
And I thought I'd show you
There was no way we could lose
I thought I'd force you
To realize and choose

And it took me years to figure out
That there was nothing I could show to you
Years to figure out that you were never really going to choose
And how can I describe the way I slowly lost my love for you
And all of the time
I thought I knew you

And it took me years to figure out
That there was nothing I could show to you
Years to figure out that you were never really going to choose
And how can I describe the way I slowly lost my love for you
And all of the time
I thought I knew you
Comments (147)add comment
I have recently recovered from this song by listening to the acoustic version by Mr. Sweet. Starts rough, ends clean. It's a brilliant mandoline driven version. Not really a recovery, more a relapse? Chuckle.

Even tho I am happy this song roils the soul every time.
KILLER! Songs with true-to-life lyrics like these can still cut right through and roil the jaded gray matter... And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful wife..."
 rominarevolver wrote:

Oh man, it's been a while since I've heard this song. But a week ago, I finally found out why my father behaves the way he does. He's a textbook narcissist. And now I feel like my eyes have been opened and I'm searching for a way to cut contact for good. But it's horrifying, and it feels like the past 33 years were one big lie. 
It's going to be so so hard, but I know I have to do this, or I'll never be free. 
Sorry for the rant.

It took me years to figure out. How can I describe the way I slowly lost my love for you?



it's been 8 months. i hope you're doing ok.   
 pcicatar wrote:

Absolutely one of his best songs.  On an album of 60's tinged power pop, this slimmed down fast paced acoustic strummer can't be improved on.  Throughout the album, each track builds and gets better than the last.



yes yes yes. 
i'd like to hear love after this.
and more matthew sweet!!
 rominarevolver wrote:

Oh man, it's been a while since I've heard this song. But a week ago, I finally found out why my father behaves the way he does. He's a textbook narcissist. And now I feel like my eyes have been opened and I'm searching for a way to cut contact for good. But it's horrifying, and it feels like the past 33 years were one big lie. 
It's going to be so so hard, but I know I have to do this, or I'll never be free. 
Sorry for the rant.

It took me years to figure out. How can I describe the way I slowly lost my love for you?




I discovered the same thing a while back (1997) and while it's very hard it can also be liberating.  I wish you peace on your journey - you'll get there!
Oh man, it's been a while since I've heard this song. But a week ago, I finally found out why my father behaves the way he does. He's a textbook narcissist. And now I feel like my eyes have been opened and I'm searching for a way to cut contact for good. But it's horrifying, and it feels like the past 33 years were one big lie. 
It's going to be so so hard, but I know I have to do this, or I'll never be free. 
Sorry for the rant.

It took me years to figure out. How can I describe the way I slowly lost my love for you?
I love this album!
Both released in 91 (REM loosing my religon and this song)
Hey! Is that you, in the corner, losing your religion?
 lizardking wrote:
I commented on the previous song (Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know") that it was a post-breakup song that (thankfully) wasn't a post-breakup song from my past....and then BillG plays this one that WAS a post-breakup song from my past.  This one's a 9 for me despite that (or because of that and the years since it happened.)
Long Live RP!!
 

Same! This song got me through a lot of tough times in the 90s. (bumped from a 9 to a 10 because of my deep and abiding love for Matthew Sweet)


 Shipp wrote:
Tuesday Weld, please marry me. If it's not too late, that is.
 
She's been divorced since 1995 from her 3rd marriage, though 'too late' may be in the eye of the beholder...she's 76 now....https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Tuesday Weld, please marry me. If it's not too late, that is.
I commented on the previous song (Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know") that it was a post-breakup song that (thankfully) wasn't a post-breakup song from my past....and then BillG plays this one that WAS a post-breakup song from my past.  This one's a 9 for me despite that (or because of that and the years since it happened.)
Long Live RP!!
Wow, these comments.  Same here, it took 9 years to find out about her personality disorder.  Or maybe I was just in denial.  Anti-depressants and over a decade of therapy for her, and she left and blamed everything on me when I was doing all I could to keep our marriage together.

Thanks RP community!  Good to know there are others out there.
 Imkirok wrote:

Sorry to hear that.  I had a similar situation.  Was dating a woman and she got pregnant shortly after.  Things seemed like they were going well, so we stayed together, got married and had another kid.  In the meantime, she got fired from several jobs, stopped doing anything productive around the house, and started constantly picking fights with me and other family members.  Found out she was bipolar and has borderline personality disorder.  After several years of trying to make it work, I couldn't take it any more and got divorced.  But it totally ruined my life for years, and she still tries to make things miserable.  Don't blame yourself.

 
Wow, I came to comment that I have this song on CD and never realized that the lyrics hit so close to home...actually not close; right through the front door. Then I read this and another comment, and think, 'I'm not alone'. I'm on the trailing end of a bewildering seven year relationship with someone that I've finally realized suffers from borderline personality disorder,aside from depression and bulimia. It's been like living in the Twilite Zone. Even though she left over a year ago she still makes things difficult. It's a tiny town here and seems the only way out may be to sell the house and run.
 Imkirok wrote:

Sorry to hear that.  I had a similar situation.  Was dating a woman and she got pregnant shortly after.  Things seemed like they were going well, so we stayed together, got married and had another kid.  In the meantime, she got fired from several jobs, stopped doing anything productive around the house, and started constantly picking fights with me and other family members.  Found out she was bipolar and has borderline personality disorder.  After several years of trying to make it work, I couldn't take it any more and got divorced.  But it totally ruined my life for years, and she still tries to make things miserable.  Don't blame yourself.

 

Wow, you guys had it far worse than I did, although I remember coming to similar sinking conclusions that the relationships I was in were doomed...
 markthecarp wrote:
I married the homecoming queen.  it took years to figure out she was depressive. and there was nothing i could do to really make her happy.   we separated for 2 yr to figure out divorce was the only option.  i lied to the judge when he asked if our differences were irreconcilable.  she committed suicide a year after the divorce was final. life has been tough ever since.

 
Sorry to hear that.  I had a similar situation.  Was dating a woman and she got pregnant shortly after.  Things seemed like they were going well, so we stayed together, got married and had another kid.  In the meantime, she got fired from several jobs, stopped doing anything productive around the house, and started constantly picking fights with me and other family members.  Found out she was bipolar and has borderline personality disorder.  After several years of trying to make it work, I couldn't take it any more and got divorced.  But it totally ruined my life for years, and she still tries to make things miserable.  Don't blame yourself.
 markthecarp wrote:
I married the homecoming queen.  it took years to figure out she was depressive. and there was nothing i could do to really make her happy.   we separated for 2 yr to figure out divorce was the only option.  i lied to the judge when he asked if our differences were irreconcilable.  she committed suicide a year after the divorce was final. life has been tough ever since.

   

You hit it with " she was depressive. and there was nothing i could do to really make her happy."  Nothing at all.
Get on with.  Go on to the next unsolvable cunundrum.   {#Ask}
I married the homecoming queen.  it took years to figure out she was depressive. and there was nothing i could do to really make her happy.   we separated for 2 yr to figure out divorce was the only option.  i lied to the judge when he asked if our differences were irreconcilable.  she committed suicide a year after the divorce was final. life has been tough ever since.
What a great album, I'll be sure to dig this out. Thanks William!
Absolutely one of his best songs.  On an album of 60's tinged power pop, this slimmed down fast paced acoustic strummer can't be improved on.  Throughout the album, each track builds and gets better than the last.
 Proclivities wrote:

12 years...more like 23 - 1991 release.  Also, in response to the wannabe-copyright-attorneys who posted their allegations of plagiarism earlier in the song comments: this album was recorded before "Losing My Religion" was released, but both tunes do have that minor-key mandolin stuff going on.

 

And we must add that this song is really good and losing my religion sux, there is also that.
Love this song—so painfully true to a breakup.
 Derecho wrote:

That may still be the case if they haven't tried to get this photo removed from his Wikipedia page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Matthew_Sweet,_2006.jpg

 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Matthew_Sweet,_2006.jpg

Yaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhh Eeeyaah!!! Scary-happy fella, his music's nice though  
Love it! It's been years since I heard this song from Matthew! 
 Shesdifferent wrote:
How can this song that I love so much be so poignant now 12 years later? Glad I caught it again!

 
12 years...more like 23 - 1991 release.  Also, in response to the wannabe-copyright-attorneys who posted their allegations of plagiarism earlier in the song comments: this album was recorded before "Losing My Religion" was released, but both tunes do have that minor-key mandolin stuff going on.
How can this song that I love so much be so poignant now 12 years later? Glad I caught it again!
That's me in the spotlight.
That's me in the corner.
 Propayne wrote:
He's still around, releasing some very enjoyable stuff, including some fun albums of covers with Susanna Hoffs.

To me, the secret ingredient of Matthew Sweet's best work was the twin guitar attack of Richard Lloyd and Robert Quine. 

 
If I remember reading the artist list for each song it seems that they both played on the album but not together (or maybe rarely), some songs were Lloyd and some Quine.
Tens of thousands of times I've listened to this song and it stirs me the same way it did so long ago. Every little bit of love is here, and yet it makea me want to dance a jig. BRILLIANT!
Agree.  Lloyd and Quine contribute a lot to this album.  I have several MS CDs - this one is brilliant and is his best, but the others are very good and have some great tracks.


 
Propayne wrote:
He's still around, releasing some very enjoyable stuff, including some fun albums of covers with Susanna Hoffs.

To me, the secret ingredient of Matthew Sweet's best work was the twin guitar attack of Richard Lloyd and Robert Quine. 

 


 MiracleDrug wrote:

this guy must have had the WORST management and representation of ALL TIME...


he should have been HUGE... {#Stupid}



 
That may still be the case if they haven't tried to get this photo removed from his Wikipedia page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Matthew_Sweet,_2006.jpg
One of the best albums of the early 1990s.  Still love this.
He's still around, releasing some very enjoyable stuff, including some fun albums of covers with Susanna Hoffs.

To me, the secret ingredient of Matthew Sweet's best work was the twin guitar attack of Richard Lloyd and Robert Quine. 
 MiracleDrug wrote:

this guy must have had the WORST management and representation of ALL TIME...


he should have been HUGE... {#Stupid}



 
Agreed. I wondered from time to time what happened to this guy? Where did he go? I guess he's still around but he was never able to build on his initial success...
What a Gem! 
Fantastic song from one of the best albums in the early 90's.
Girlfriend should be in everyone's record collection
As others have said, the break-up album that all others should be measured by.

Pain, love and grief,and false hope, all in one CD. Brilliant.

Will listen to this now, as it is what I need.

(Cries in the corner...) 
 BigTimber wrote:
A little too whiny for me...kinda just want this guy to get over it and move onto another subject

 
I agree wholeheartedly with this 2+year old comment.  I'm surprised so many people like this . . . oy.  Seems very pedestrian.
this is very heartfelt—-he came out during a time where (like today, I guess) you need to have a gimmick.
 pcicatar wrote:
I am SO PSYCHED he's hitting the road in celebration of the 20th anniversary of this album.  It's going to be played stem to stern!  {#Bananajam}
 

May have to check that out; tour schedule?{#Think}
I am SO PSYCHED he's hitting the road in celebration of the 20th anniversary of this album.  It's going to be played stem to stern!  {#Bananajam}
Revising from 7 to 9 after further thought and a quick iTunes purchase
Loved this album.....and this song says it so well. Thumbs up.

this guy must have had the WORST management and representation of ALL TIME...


he should have been HUGE... {#Stupid}


Very good song! I heard another song from this LP last night on P*nd*ra and was impressed. May have to look it up on Amazon. Matthew's music holds up well.

 treehugger wrote:

This whole CD is superb.
 
Agreed 1000%!  {#Bananajam}
Suddenly I had an aural vision of this as a bluegrass version?
The ultimate collage album.  Seen him in like 94, Sweet.  Nearly defined the 90's for me.
 sirdroseph wrote:
This is the breakup album of my entire life probably, special place in my heart, this one.{#Yes}
 
same
 rabaak wrote:
This whole CD is good.
 
This whole CD is superb.
sirdroseph wrote:
This is the breakup album of my entire life probably, special place in my heart, this one.{#Yes}
Been there, torn that.

The maestro of power-pop, the whole album is great.
I think the entire cd is enjoyable.

Richard Lloyd and Robert Quine are incredible. 
Fianally!!! SOME MATTHEW! He was the only thing missing here. Yay!!!  Thank you so much. This is one of my absolute faves of his. Saw him play it live accoustic with Ivan Jullian in Lawrence, KS about ten or so years ago. One of the most magically concert experiences I have ever had. Thank you!!!
It's nice to hear Matthew Sweet actually wrote something besides "Girlfriend"..the only song ever played on the commercial radio stations.
One of the better tracks off this uneven album. I could hear Elliott Smith doing this song major justice. It would have benefitted from Elliott's voice rather than Matthew Sweets. Still like it though... 
This is the breakup album of my entire life probably, special place in my heart, this one.{#Yes}
This whole CD is good.
A little too whiny for me...kinda just want this guy to get over it and move onto another subject

this song rocks so hard for two acoustic guitar tracks and a two track vocal {#Guitarist}

 1wolfy wrote:
reminds me of a Cars LP I once had...maybe the Candy O lady or ?the one with the clear steering wheel Mandible wrote:

Is the album cover pic from something?


 
 
The cover picture is actress Tuesday Weld, a publicity shot taken in the late 50's. I've had this cd since it's release in '91 and it holds up in my opinion.

do we ever really know anyone? i wonder.....
 ArbiterOfGoodTaste wrote:
I thought this was going to be Classical Gas at first.
 
It turned out to be classic Sweet. {#Cool}
I thought this was going to be Classical Gas at first.
reminds me of a Cars LP I once had...maybe the Candy O lady or ?the one with the clear steering wheel Mandible wrote:

Is the album cover pic from something?


 


love, love, love this song.  i get jazzed every time i hear it.  bonus that lloyd cole plays guitar accompany.  thanks bill!
Oh yes, I wore that album out about 12-13 years ago during a bad breakup! Bittersweet memories with that one.
I hearing a little of Battle of Evermore.  Nice
Mandible wrote:

Is the album cover pic from something?



a 1950s pin-up model if i remember right ...

Is the album cover pic from something?


 guitar work a bit sloppy and uninspiring...probably works nice in a coffee shop though

 

nice song!

prominence for its particular style to play guitar;

nice contribution of Mr. Lloyd Cole ("Lloyd Cole and the Commotions"), playing guitar, in a total of 14 musicians in this album "Girlfriend" (1991)

** 6  /  7 **

 



This is great! Nothing from his new CD? {#Doh}
One of the coolest album covers of all time.

Very nice.{#Yes}
One of the most amazing CD's ever!
lily34 wrote:
i am floored each time i hear MS on RP. i don't know why.

also, haven't played any of his cds in a while...thanks for the reminder!
holy cats.
again this morning. struck by this song so much. LOVE it.


i am floored each time i hear MS on RP. i don't know why.

also, haven't played any of his cds in a while...thanks for the reminder!
davin wrote:
blaaaaaaah, depressing to listen to someone who has written a song about centering their life around someone else. guhhhhh!
Not this song, but another of his songs, "Someone to Pull the Trigger" had a line that always struck me as one of the saddest in all of of pop music "everything I'll ever be I've been" If sung by a teenager you can brush it off, but by some in their mid/late twenties is really depressing.
Such a great album.... Check out "In Reverse," "100% Fun," and "Kimi Ga Suki," too.
LOVE this one... takes me back to the summer before I went to college. Played this tape to death, along with the soundtrack from "The Commitments." This song perfectly summarized a relationship it took me too long to get out of nearly 10 years later... meeeeeeeeeeeeeeemorieeeeeeees. :)
LOOOOOOOOOVE this song! Love this CD, love Matthew. Where did he go??
Yeah, been there. This song takes me back to a place I don't like goin'.
love this entire CD, so many songs on so many of my ipod playlists!! he was such a hottie back in the 90's, now not so much.
this album is great. i went for weeks just listening to this. no come to think of it--months. is was, and still is, pop at its best. simple and utterly complex at the same time.
This is such a great album! Some better songs on it though. Friend of mine said ti sounded like a garage band. When it came out , tht was OK with me.
Weaker songs?! Well, no, it won't go onto a Greatest Hits album, which is one of its endearing qualities. It's a song that places you smack into the middle of an album that most of us have played hundreds of times, with headphones, while trying to understand our own struggles with love. This one doesn't rock you hard, but it sits you down in a pub with 4 other guys and a round of drinks to wonder just "what the hell happened?!" When you're all done laughing you pick up the guitar, kick on the amp, and pine away for Winona. Am I alone here? It's the song that makes you replay the whole damned thing in your heart. And as soon as it's over you want to do it again. MS is the first guy who sang about love and made me sing along. Thanks, Matthew, thanks, Bill.
horstman wrote:
Losing My Religion? Anyone?
but which came first?
Bat wrote:
I agree about the Girlfriend CD, a classic. Altered Beast is pretty close. All of his others have one or two great tunes but don't stand up as a whole. I saw him once in concert and I hate to sound so old but it was so loud that every song was basically white noise. I knew every song he played but often it was a minute into the song that I could distinguish just what song it was.
Hi Bat, Just wanted to say that I'm with you on everything here. MS's Girlfriend album is one of the most consistently (every track) great albums ever recorded. Anyone out there thinks they might like it and doesn't have it, go get it. That combination of Matthew Sweet songwriting and singing, plus both Robert Quine and Richard Lloyd on guitars was amazing. Lots of other great MS songs came out after that too (I don't know his really early stuff), but some of these albums included filler with the greatness. I saw MS in the early 90's, and it was the muddiest sound I have ever heard at a concert. I was stunned. He puts so much craftsmanship into the studio stuff, I couldn't believe the live sound was loud mush. There is nothing wrong with kicking up the volume and intensity live, but this was a mess. But, that was a long time ago, hopefully MS can find some creative guitarists to try to fill some pretty big shoes (Quine and Lloyd), get a live sound engineer with an ear for clarity, and hit the road again. His catalog of pop/rock gems is almost unmatched (maybe World Party?, but I'd still take Matthew Sweet if I had to choose).
newwavegurly wrote:
I know I tried uploading a song or two by him a couple of years back, I wonder if anyone else has...
i tried years ago to upload many of his songs...got the big NO.
LOVE this and the whole cd. thanks for playing it! more matthew sweet!!!!
horstman wrote:
Losing My Religion? Anyone?
it does, doesn't it?
davyjrshort wrote:
Hooray! One of the best albums of all time! At least I think so!
No question. One of the top 10 albums of the 90s.
Losing My Religion? Anyone?
MCKY wrote:
nice to hear Matthew Sweet-this is a great album, tho this is one of the weaker songs. Odd choice
I kind of thought the same about it being an odd choice but still, have to agree with others that it's nice to hear Matthew Sweet on RP. That IS a good choice.
Oh, life is bigger It's bigger than you And you are not me
davyjrshort wrote:
Hooray! One of the best albums of all time! At least I think so!
yep, definitely in my Top 10...Top 8 maybe!
Hooray! One of the best albums of all time! At least I think so!
nice to hear this!! mmmmmmatthew!
davin wrote:
blaaaaaaah, depressing to listen to someone who has written a song about centering their life around someone else. guhhhhh!
Do you think someone has to "center life around someone else" to be in a serious relationship? Geeze.
blaaaaaaah, depressing to listen to someone who has written a song about centering their life around someone else. guhhhhh!
i literally had to stop working and put my head down...this song has always blown me away and to hear it on RP this morning...ahhh, i just really needed that.
Anyone else hear Cat Stevens?
nice to hear Matthew Sweet-this is a great album, tho this is one of the weaker songs. Odd choice
Listen to those words.....ooooohhhhh (classic CD lost artist)
Wow, this guy must have gone through a really painful breakup at some point. That's a powerful song, I feel his pain.
ahoylola wrote:
not a real green dress, that's cruel.
Nice BNL's reference.
not a real green dress, that's cruel.
I'm listening to SOMAFM because of this....
A great song off an excellent album. I'd suggest adding more Matthew Sweet tunes to the playlist - off of the albums Girlfriend, Altered Beast and 100% Fun. Lots of great stuff there to choose from...
rcam1 wrote:
For the record, Matthew's band has turned the volume down - he rocks hard but not at the ear splitting level he once did - I know what you are talking about - my ears still ring when I think about some of those shows - though I cinsider them some of the best of the era
Tell him it didn't work. Now my ears are ringing with tedious repetitivity and whininess.
This album was *the* album for me in high school. I'm all nostalgic. I need to go find it.
hi - I manage Matthew Sweet - he just released a new record with Susanna Hoffs called Under the Covers Vol 1 - they go under the name Sid n Susie (myspace.com/sidnsusie). It is on Shout! Factory/ Sony. It is all covers from the 60s - Beatles, Who, Neil Young, Velvet Underground, Left Banke, Marmalade, Stone Ponies etc. Thorns sold 200,000 on Columbia - three part harmony band like the Eagles or CS&N with Shawn Mullins and Pete Droge - critically acclaimed - really cool music and very different from what was going on at the time. Matthew is working on a new solo record - rockin stuff - due out in early 2007 Girlfriend is being issued in remastered form with Goodfriend ( the promo piece from that era with demos, outtakes and live stuff) on Sony Legacy For the record, Matthew's band has turned the volume down - he rocks hard but not at the ear splitting level he once did - I know what you are talking about - my ears still ring when I think about some of those shows - though I cinsider them some of the best of the era cheers Russell Carter
earthbased wrote:
He is still doing music. He also did a side project called 'The Thorns'; good stuff. Dan
I heard that he's been collaborating with Suzanna Huff of the Bangles. Not sure if any releases are planned. During the SxSW conference I was listening to Austin stations (via the internet, I don't live anywhere near Austin) and they were going to broadcast a live performance but I wasn't able to listen at that time. I agree about the Girlfriend CD, a classic. Altered Beast is pretty close. All of his others have one or two great tunes but don't stand up as a whole. I saw him once in concert and I hate to sound so old but it was so loud that every song was basically white noise. I knew every song he played but often it was a minute into the song that I could distinguish just what song it was.
earthbased wrote:
Wow! We both posted this comment at the same time!
I know I tried uploading a song or two by him a couple of years back, I wonder if anyone else has...
newwavegurly wrote:
This is the ONLY Matthew Sweet song in the RP library?
Wow! We both posted this comment at the same time!
Wow, this is the only tune on RP from Matthew Sweet? Apparently Bill isn't a fan.
This is the ONLY Matthew Sweet song in the RP library?